The ship was in great peril;

Her hull had sprung a leak,

And so our captain called the crew

On deck so he could speak:

“We’re working to repair the hull,”

He crooned, clearing his throat,

“Until we do, our big bilge pump

Will keep the ship afloat,

And as repairs may take some time,

I’m making this decree:

All non-essential items

Must be thrown into the sea.”

And yet the ship sunk faster,

And our frantic captain roared,

“That pump is too damned heavy,

We must throw it overboard!”