
President’s Day Sale: 1 America, used.

President’s Day Sale: 1 America, used.

“Is that Celsius or Fahrenheit?”
“Both.”

Exhibit A: Tyrone’s bloody toy gun.

Santa came, but daddy missed him.

One woman. Two men. Three fights.

“The gun’s missing! He knows, Roberto!”

Dear Time,
Being held prisoner.
Present

Bigly winner. Biglier liar. Bigliest loser.

Grandpa punishes with ice cream headaches.

I’m quitting drinking for good, again.