I met a man

Who had a plan

To make me

Very rich,

And I was low

On cash and so

I listened to

His pitch:

For a fee,

He shared

With me

The secret scam

He knew,

And if you send

Ten dollars,

Friend,

I’ll share it

With you too.

I went out in the sun

I was white as wonder bread

still I stripped down to my shorts

and I bared my balding head

I looked just like a Q-tip

as I laid out on the spread

and I guess I fell asleep

for I woke up flaming red

I thought I’d get a tan

but I’m lobsterized instead

and now I’m truly worried

as to what will lie ahead

for the thought of even moving

now fills me with dread

I’ll prop myself up

for the night on my bed

I’m sure I’ll get big blisters

until my skin is shed

and probably by morning

I’ll wish that I was dead

I guess I didn’t listen

to what my mother said

don’t lay out in the sun

when you’re white as wonder bread